Only When I Lose Myself

"Only When I Lose Myself" is Depeche Mode's thirty-fifth UK single, released on September 7, 1998, exclusive to The Singles 86>98. It's the first non-studio album single since "It's Called a Heart" in 1985. It's also one of the rare singles having two limited editions ("L12/LCD Bong" and "XL12/XLCD Bong" - other being "Enjoy the Silence" and "In Your Room").

There are two B-sides. "Surrender" is the first exclusive vocal B-side since "My Joy" in 1993 from the "Walking in My Shoes" single. The other, is an instrumental called "Headstar", which is like a mix of "Slowblow" from the "It's No Good" single, and "Painkiller" from the "Barrel of a Gun" single. Incidentally, a rare remix of "Painkiller" from 1997 is rereleased as a B-side on some versions of "Only When I Lose Myself". The "Kill the Pain - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode" mix also appears on Remixes 81 - 04 in 2004. There is also a new remix of World in My Eyes, which starts with Dave Gahan greeting the fans on a Devotional show - which he always did right before World in My Eyes started on that tour.

The music video for "Only When I Lose Myself" was directed by Brian Griffin. Brian had previously worked with Depeche Mode as a photographer, and did the cover art for Depeche Mode's first five albums. The soundtrack to the video is a unique version of the song, fading out at the last chorus and omitting the instrumental outro (like the radio version), but including the instrumental intro (which is missing from the radio version).

Track listings

12": Mute / 12Bong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00) (remixed by Danny Briottet)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
3. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)

12": Mute / L12Bong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)

CD: Mute / CDBong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself" (4:35)
2. "Surrender" (6:19)
3. "Headstar" (4:23)

CD: Mute / LCDBong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:47)
3. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)

CD: Mute / XLCDBong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
4. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Short Play Mix)" (5:06)
5. "World in My Eyes (Safar Mix)" (8:30)

CD: Mute / CDBong29X (EU)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself" (4:35)
2. "Surrender" (6:19)
3. "Headstar" (4:23)
4. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
5. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
6. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)
7. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
8. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
9. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
10. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Short Play Mix)" (5:06)
11. "World in My Eyes (Safar Mix)" (8:30)

• This CD is the 2004 re-release

Promo 12": Mute / P12Bong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
3. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
4. "Headstar (Single Version)" (4:23)

Promo 12": Mute / PL12Bong29 (UK)

1. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)
2. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
3. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)

Radio Promo CD": Mute / RCDBong29 (UK)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Radio Edit)" (3:53)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself (Single Version)" (4:35)

2x12": Reprise / 44562-0 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)
4. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
5. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
6. "Headstar" (4:23)
7. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
8. "Surrender" (6:19)

CD: Reprise / 44546-2 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
2. "Headstar" (4:23)
3. "Surrender" (6:19)
4. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
5. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)

• Released September 15, 1998

CD: Reprise / 44562-2 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
4. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Short Play Mix)" (5:06)
5. "World in My Eyes (Safar Mix)" (8:30)

• Released October 13, 1998

Promo 2x12": Reprise / PRO-A-9362 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Dan the Automator Remix)" (4:45)
2. "Painkiller (Kill the Pain Mix - DJ Shadow vs Depeche Mode)" (6:34)
3. "Headstar (Luke Slater Remix)" (5:47)
4. "Surrender (Catalan FC Out of Reach Mix)" (6:55)
5. "Only When I Lose Myself (Gus Gus Long Play Mix)" (11:21)
6. "Headstar" (4:23)
7. "Only When I Lose Myself (Subsonic Legacy Remix)" (7:00)
8. "Surrender" (6:19)

Promo CD: Reprise / PRO-CD-9362 (US)

1. "Only When I Lose Myself (Radio Edit)" (3:53)
2. "Only When I Lose Myself" (4:34)

• All songs written by Martin L. Gore

External links

• Single information from the official Depeche Mode web site